Sacred Cods and Holy Mackerals

Free Jon, the Inside Track, and dementors
May 29, 2009, 1:08 pm
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Day 2 and the Inside Track ladies continue to circle my house like dementors. I may never feel happiness again.

Until this passes, if you have Facebook, be sure to check out the new “Free Jon Gosselin From Jon & Kate Plus 8” group.


Forced into hiding…
May 28, 2009, 11:25 am
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qwqwqSorry, but no post todayas I’m in hiding. The Track Ladies caught wind of my post yesterday and aren’t happy about me muscling in on their territory. They demanded I post this picture from today’s Herald as tribute. Hopefully this will all blow over soon.

Just one quick note: apparantly TLC has no intention of putting the show on hiatus anytime soon. After pulling in 9 million viewers on Monday, they have ordered 40 episodes for this season. 40!

Dirty secrets from beneath the dome!
May 27, 2009, 8:31 am
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Since yesterday’s post on Jon & Kate was the second-most read post in this site’s history (the most-read post being this piece of satire that most people didn’t realize was satire) I’m officially combining my love of state politics and celebrity gossip into one big state politics gossip site.

As a special for all my new fans, here’s a list of the six most dirtiest dishes under the dome! Remember, no phone calls please, because my lips are sealed. Unless of course you offer me large sums of cash.  

* Have you heard about the hack radio czar who is trying to keep his taste for graying retirees in the closet? He doesn’t have to wait for the mail to get his monthly kiss!

* Then there’s the story of the deputy agency head who wasn’t hired for knowledge of state procurement laws. Let’s just say her Manolos and Hermes bag aren’t the only things that are fake!

* We know the real story behind the fall-out between Patrick, Murray and DeLeo. Let’s just say it involves “policy disagreements” and “political grandstanding.”

* All the tongues are wagging about the latest controversial state hire. He may be qualified, well-educated, politically-savvy and underpaid, but he’s also a Yankees fan! Let’s say he won’t be around long enough to see his pension vest!

* Hear about the media darling who is so dumb she doesn’t know the difference between defeasance and malfeasance? But she’s super hot so it’s OK.

*And finally, there’s the dashing state senator who enjoys wooing the ladies. Wouldn’t his wife be mad is she knew? Good thing he doesn’t have one!

Last call for Jon and Kate?
May 26, 2009, 7:56 am
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I couldn’t let the week begin without some thoughts on the dominant conflict on everyone’s mind.

No not Deval vs. the Legislature or Barack vs. Cheney. I’m of course talking about Kate vs. Jon, the fightin’ Gosselins.

Not since the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline split has the nation been able to watch such an amazing slow-motion trainwreck from the comfort of their living room, or favorite celebrity gossip website.

Last night’s opener for Season 5 of Jon & Kate Plus 8 might have been the most riveting hour of television in recent memory. It opened and closed with interviews of the two of them separately all but saying Kate’s nagging had turned Jon into a manwhore. Jon could barely contain his comtempt for his shrew-y wife. And Kate reveled in being able to play the wounded spouse just hoping her kids stay happy and healthy.

In between the interviews was some footage about a birthday party for the kids or something like that. But really the party was just filler buffering Jon and Kate’s interview segments, which ranged from passive aggressve to openly hostile.  The pay-off was a  2-minute interview of them together, where the space separating them on the couch was cavernous. When given the opportunity to say they were trying to work things out, that they still loved each other, they both quickly said they were “here for the kids.”

The question I have is, at some point does TLC have a moral responsibility to turn off the cameras, leave the house, and tell them they need to work things out off-camera? Obviously this would require a television network to sacrifice a cash cow that likely just earned the biggest Neilson rating for a cable show of all time. But it is clear that tabloid scandal and the likely dissolution of their marriage isn’t enough to convince Jon and Kate (likely more Kate than Jon) on their own that this isn’t healthy, that they are now taking advantage of their kids through their status as sextuplets, and they really need to step out of the spotlight for a while.

 Let’s put it this way — when the viewers of a show about kids want the producers to spend less time covering the kids’ cute little event of the week so that they can see more footage of their dysfunctional parents — that’s not neccesarily a good thing. 

The kids already know something is going on. [In the most heart-wrenching moment of the night, one of the cherubic daughters, on the celebration of her 5th birthday, said as matter-of-factly as only a still-naive kid can “Daddy I wish you didn’t have to leave so much.”] Jon even admitted that the oldest twins are going to start googling soon and then all the secrets are going to be revealed. I don’t know if its wise for the cameras to be rolling when they find the pictures of daddy drunk with a 21-year-old woman, or Mommy saying she thinks divorce is a possibility.

As a matter of public policy, bartenders are required to cut off drunks. Should TLC, at some point, be required at some point to turn off the lights when the grown-ups on a show clearly don’t when to say when? Or is the temptation of a public trainwreck too great to overcome?

Screw you! No, screw YOU!
May 21, 2009, 7:07 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ahh, sweet vengeance, how delicious the taste.

The state Senate sure thinks so. After all, they upped the ongoing war with the governor’s office last night voting unanimously — UNANIMOUSLY — on a Republican sponsored budget amendment that requires Gov. Patrick to:

“develop a report detailing all action undertaken by the Executive Branch in Fiscal Year 2009, and those planned to be undertaken in 2010, to reduce the costs of employee compensation. Said report shall also include an itemization of any and all stuffing reductions, furlough and salary wage reductions in addition to any salary and wage increases and any increases in staffing levels from 2008 to 2009 to those projected for 2010.”

This vote can shortly after Gov. Patrick said in a Email that the Legislature was “thumbing their noses at the taxpayers.” So the Senate’s response was to say, basically, “OK Guv, you wanna keep slapping us around in order to  make yourself look tough? That’s fine. But we’re going to embarrass you by requiring you to disclose what you’ve done within your own office to save the taxpayers’ money. And we’re going to bet on ‘not much’.”

Consider this: after GOP Sen. Mike Knapik gave a fiery speech criticizing the governor for suddenly discovering his inner-Grover Norquist,  — while simultaneously adding 2,000 new state employees, giving away pay hikes to 10,000 state employees and dishing out $100,000k+ patronage hires — a handful of Democratic senators APPLAUDED!

The good news is that this growing spat between the Legislature and Governor is over who can appear more fiscally, morally and politically responsible in the eyes of the voters. And as a result, we’re seeing much more good-government-style legislation succeeding than normally would.

You can debate how much they really mean what they’re saying deep-down, but on the surface, at least, we’re finally seeing some much-needed change on Beacon Hill.

ADDENDUM: Sen. Berry still has some love for the governor. During a debate today on a budget amendment that essentially would prohibit Gov. Patrick from giving public unions raises, Berry said the Legislature should “trust the governor’s plan.”

Those are some words you don’t hear very often in the building anymore.

Viva la revolution!
May 20, 2009, 8:58 am
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I am outraged. Simply outraged.  Outraged to the point I can’t even type an exclamation mark.

It’s another example of those fatcats sitting up in their offices, disconnected from the real world. They want to  reach deeper into my pockets in the midst of the  the worst recession in 70 years.

So I am officials launching today my Boston Tea Bag Party protest against National Grid!

“It’s never a good time to raise rates,” said Tom King, president of National Grid’s US business. But “it’s critical that we continue to have the ability to upgrade the aging infrastructure in the state of Massachusetts.”

For shame, Mr. King! I’ve had to tighten my belt, you should too! Where are your effeciencies? Where are the cost savings! How many employees do you have making six-figure salaries?

These private busineses can’t just do what they want. They need to learn to live within their means, and not just automatically run to me with your hand out! If not, we need to remind them of the principles this nation was founded upon, and throw the bums out!

Who’s with me?!

(gazing out upon a field filled with indifference)