Sacred Cods and Holy Mackerals


Holy high days in the House
February 7, 2009, 12:46 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Sorry for the long delay between posts: I’ve been busy preparing the sacrifice to commemorate the ascension of House Speaker DeLeo.

OK, you probably don’t know what I’m referring to. But it’s very clearly laid out in the Book of Finneran, Chapter 23, Verses 40-48.

“And on the 13th day following the ascension, the multitude shall gather at the tent of ML Strategies, in the presence of Thomas, the Son of Tip the Prophet.  At which time a proper sacrifice shall be prepared to give thanks. And they shall burn three Bird books, along with seven hairs each from the Swan, Fox, Wolf, mixed with the essence of Basile and Rice, and he blood of three prime ribs from Fleming’s. The ashes shall be offered to the North and East and then spread on the foreheads of seven lobbyists of criminal records pure. The lobbyists shall then be accompanied by a corps of drummers and pipers, all Sons of Ireland, and they shall march 12 times around both the Herald and Globe of Boston, until the occupants shake and tremble in fear. A collation shall be held afterwards, thrown by the Senate President, and held at Tecce’s in the North. It shall feature a cash bar. Suggested donations shall be $125, $250 and $500.”  

(Personally,  my goal is to make just one editor at the Globe tell an intern to make a couple phone calls to make sure I made all that up, ya know, just in case…)

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